Who I am, is who you want me to be
but lately I'm having a hard time finding me - Randy Rogers Band
And there you have it. I am who society wants me to be. A wage earning, tax paying following the rules citizen. That however, is not me. Not that I want to commit to a life a crime, It would appear as if I'm having the proverbial epiphany.
What defined me, who I was and who I became were tied to a fraternal organization. Now before you digress to Animal House and GPA's of 0.0, let me tell you about the men I chose to hang my hat with. They were not men of wealth and fame or "legacy brothers". They earned their way into this fraternity by climbing engaging in every battle and conflict that our History as a country can document. I could start to list some but I would end up leaving some out. DDay to Korea to Viet Nam. Grenada, Panama, Somalia. Desert Storm , Desert Shield, Iraq, Afghanistan, the Balkans and Horn of Africa. All across this globe, my "fraternity" has been kicking ass and taking names.
The problem I'm currently having is.... THAT job had a purpose, direction and motivation. I feel like I'm doing nothing now and honestly, I not. Parental / Marital duties, yeah, well I guess I'm good at those. My gut tells me I'm probably just okay, if not bad. But Rangering, that i was good at, and that I miss.
Nothing can or will ever compare. It's a life you would have had to live to understand. Crying over spilt milk? I suppose, but I have not one story, I have not one friend, I have not one memory that does not revolve around those 10 years.
No wonder Farve won't retire.
Jurena....out
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